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Conservatives are the Nazi-Bred Uber-Cows of Social Media

Alex Constantine - January 11, 2015

By Alex Constantine

This afternoon I waded innocently into a comment section at "The Federalist," a pit of foaming conservative bovines who spend the day feeding their rage with propaganda, and typing snide comments about liberals. Liberals are soft, latently racist, hypocritical, treasonous, quiche-eating, self-possessed, short-sighted, aligned with Stalin and the gulags, in control of the media  -- this is The Enemy. I read through a number of the usual fantastic claims made about liberals, most of them planted there by scheming zealots to convince the masses to vote Republican.

:o I took the bait: "Conservatism is the most destructive ideology in the world," I typed.

A few seconds passed. There was an irate reply. I was a "libdem" with a crush on Castro who needed to compare the numbers killed by conservatism with the Black-on-Black death toll in Chicago. How many innocents have the far-right ever killed? "We'll wait." "Black-on-black" death toll?

Even misinformed conservatives have heard of the Holocaust, I reminded him, threw in the coup in Chile that installed Pinochet, Operation Condor, so bloody that the river flowing through Santiago was dammed by headless bodies; the death squads in Honduras that have sent children fleeing for their lives to the U.S. border ... only to be demonized by conservatives as "illegals." I  also brought up he dropping of napalm in Vietnam, and the CIA importation of heroin from Southeast Asia, a drug that killed an untold number of addicts here at home. U.S. State Dept.-supported death squads in Colombia, the Oklahoma City bombing, the El Paso Walmart slaughter, the assassination of Martin Luther King, the Birmingham church bombing ...

That didn't go down so well. In abusive, trailer-park English, the reply suggested that I am a Stalin-loving  communist, also a "coward" who voted for Obama (Kenyan tyrant in league with anti-American Jihadists), and (icing on the cake) Hitler was a "socialist."

This bleating takes place in an echo chamber -- represented by The Federalist, but spreading from its core at The National Review, WND, Fox, American Thinker and Townhall.com --  where surly bovine thoughts, bred by sinister opinion-shapers, attack the liberal invader like antibodies in the national bloodstream.

A genetically-engineered "Super-Cow"

And like the specially bred herd of Nazi-engineered cows reported by English tabloids, the internet's cows are an aggressive breed. They bite. They trample and gore.

A farmer in the UK said that he was forced to make sausage out of his Nazi cows, according to The Independent:

"Farmer Gow, who is the only British farmer to own the breed, has been forced to kill seven of his herd because the cows were so aggressive they repeatedly tried to kill his staff.

“'We have had to cut our herd down to six because some of them were incredibly aggressive and we just couldn’t handle them,' said Farmer Gow, who said the meat made 'very tasty' sausages that tasted a bit like venison."

Our rabid conservative commentators line up at The Federalist feed barn to fortify their rage. You can't fix 'em. And you can't grind 'em into sausages, like Farmer Gow's GMO Nazi uber-cows. Get real.