Alex Constantine - February 7, 2010
Experienced Death Panelist with good people skills, lobbying connections, a decade's worth of experience with a major, cash-rich insurance carrier (AIG) seeks position, preferably governmental, dispensing with terminal patients (or those requiring prohibitively-costly care) representing a loss to the balance of medical assets under the Useless Eaters provision of the pending health care bill (cf. "Death Panels"). Education: Accounting major, Princeton University. Minor: Triage. Author: The Virtue of a Premature Inheritance (Swine Bros.: 2005), and "The Affluence/Longevity Equation" (Rectal Cancer Insurance Adjusters' Quarterly, Aug. 2007). Professional experience: DP Termination Specialist, AIG, 1998-2010. Board auditing committee, Fannie Mae Contrived Contract Termination Notice Division, 1995-1998; Accountant Div. Mgr., Acme Birth Certificate Vendors, Kenya, 1988-1995; Pharmaceutical trials volunteer, San Quentin Prison, 1965-1985. Member: American Patriot GOP Tumor Diagnostics and Eugenics Society, Citizens for Constitutional Liberty and Useful Eaters; Young Americans for Freedom and Mandatory Insurance Coverage. Please respond discreetly to Ernst Lebenhosen, 666 Lane's End, Croakville, KY 90210. - AC
