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Gop Behavior Gop Watch Republicans

Republican Kevin Garn, Utah's House Majority Leader, had Hot Tub Sex with then-15-Year-Old Cheryl Maher

“SALT LAKE CITY — Kevin Garn may have violated election laws by not disclosing on federal forms that he paid a woman $150,000 in 2002 — the year he ran for Congress — to keep quiet about hot tubbing together in the nude. Also, the woman now says Garn lied about not having any contact in that tub. City Weekly reported on Friday that Cheryl Maher told it that Garn — who is now the Utah House majority leader — is lying when he denied any touching or intercourse in that tub when she was just 15 years old and he was 28 and married. Maher was hesitant to give her own version of events when she spoke to City Weekly but said, ‘Let’s just say this. He really loves to massage.’ She added that Garn had been her LDS Sunday School teacher years before the incident and was her employer at the time it occurred in 1985. ‘I was in love with him,’ she said. … “


Utah’s Kevin Garn was Naked with then-15-year-old

Cheryl Maher

March 12, 2010

Nudity, public or private, is now essentially a criminal offense. All you have to do is look to Utah to see that for all our enlightenment, we can handle a bullet to the head much better than we can handle the sight of a penis or a vagina.

Utah’s statehouse Majority Leader Kevin Garn now admits that more than a decade ago he was naked in a hot tub with then-15-year-old Cheryl Maher. Garn described the incident as “spur of the moment” (isn’t it always), and that no sex or fondling took place. Maher was working for Garn at the time, which raises a whole other set of ethical questions, but no matter. Since the incident, Garn has allegedly paid Maher somewhere in the neighborhood of $150,000 to keep quiet, the payments being made after she allegedly threatened to go public with details about what may have been the ultimate in a Utah hot-tubbing experience during the last century.

I would love to see Garn’s political career go down in flames, mostly because he is one of those self-righteous Republicans who loves to condemn and criminalize ‘immoral’ behavior that he finds offensive. After this little bit of hypocrisy with Ms. Maher, he should be thrown out of the Mormon State Legislature. But at the same time, I find it more than a little disturbing that being in the presence of an underage minor, same sex or not, can be grounds for criminal charges, or at the very least, questionable ethics.

A long time ago, right around the time that people decided that the hippies were wrong and Ronald “Bedtime for Bonzo” Reagan was right, the naked human body not only became disgusting but downright criminal. Along the way, politicians, always the beacon of enlightenment without light, decided that we, as free Americans, should never have to tolerate seeing what God gave each of us. Since then, you can be arrested for urinating in public and spend the rest of your life on a sex offender registry for the ‘crime’ of emptying your bladder. You can accidentally brush up against a chesty woman in an elevator and, once you reach your floor, be arrested for sexual aggressiveness. All throughout, should you wind up in a situation where you are naked with someone who is underage who is also naked, your thoughts and your intentions are suspect and you most likely will be arrested.

Parents, for you this means that you best think twice before making bath time a family affair, as it used to be when soap and water were in limited supply. Coaches, don’t even think about showering in the same open bay showers as the kids you coach – it will come back to bite you in the asp. And for all you nudists out there, watch your step. While gun owners nationwide are brazenly trumpeting their right to bear arms, your right to not wear clothes is quickly become a thing of the past – and a criminal offense. We can blame the Republican for that, but we can also blame the spineless Democrats who have to do things like penalize Eric Massa for having a little ‘suggestive’ fun with his obviously uptight (and probably incompetent) staff. More on that later.

Nudity is now a crime and has been for some time, and Kevin Garn will no doubt pay the price for that. (He already has, if you count the $150,000 paid so far.) Realize, of course, that I am not defending Garn for his years of making sex and its participants criminals. I’d love to see a new Utah house majority leader. Heck, I’d like to see a new Utah. But for him to have everything fall apart for him just because he took off his BVDs while a young girl took off her Maidenform …. Well, gosh that’s worse than a terrorist attack any day, isn’t it.

No wonder we have a mentally unstable and sexually frustrated society. We teach children early-on that it is wrong and immoral to take off your clothes, especially in front of other people. And then when a real crime like rape happens, these kids cannot tell the difference or judge for themselves. They quickly learn that there safest bet is to stay away from sex and nudity completely. Better yet, get a job and work 70 hours a week and be the workaholic that will make us proud as a nation.

Well, I hope Kevin Garn enjoyed his hot tub experience. Given what he paid for it, and what he could have gotten for the same money on the open market back during the 20th Century, he got screwed.

Big time.


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